Getting the Words Right

I've a question about the words we use when writing our writings.

What's right? What's correct? Does that matter? Does it matter for writing erotica? For writing porn?

I understand that the terms "shemale" and "sissy" are, to a great extent, labels created by and for the porn world. "Shemale," in particular, is a pretty odious term within the transgender community. In the erotica and porn world however, it's in general use and has a widely understood meaning. Particularly in the porn world - the written part of it - the term seems to denote a feminized male who can not only still get a hard on but who's cock is still central to her life. That is, she may be feminine in appearance and behavior right up until it's in the bedroom where she's the top and uses that hardness just like a man would.

"Sissy" seems to denote an emasculated male who is at the very least sexually submissive.  All too often "sissy" also means the man is also worthy only of humiliation and derision. A "thing" to be used and not otherwise physically attractive in their feminized form.

Is there a better term for a feminized sexual submissive who IS attractive once feminized? One that doesn't have the connotations that "sissy" does?

And what about "gurl?" I've found it a handy way to different between the "genetic girls" in a setting and the feminized males in it at the same time.

What's the usage of "Tgirl?" And how best to denote the difference between crossdressers and guys who've had some surgery done and / or are on some level of hormone therapy - but who have no intent of undergoing a SRS?

And finally, when writing erotica / porn, is the concern for politically correct terminology even warranted?

I'd appreciate hearing from you folks about this.

Thanks,

Fran