Playing The Part - Chapter 7

Diana's fantasies and dreams become reality. Diana becomes a reality. Where does this leave Diana? Is she still just playing the part of Diana? Was she ever just playing that part? Can she even tell any more? Does she want to tell any more?

Day 558

It was a long and leisurely afternoon with Natalie.  We talked about what had taken place at the party and afterward.  She was patient with me as I tried to figure out what it all meant.  In particular, what I felt about her and how she’d shown me a side of her I was still trying to deal with.

“My dear girl,” she said, “I’m what you would call a ‘switch.’  That is, I enjoy dominating and I enjoy, at times, submitting.  I’m most often the domme – the top, the dominator, the one in charge.  But, there are times when I need to let go.  When I need someone else to be in charge for a while.  However brief that while may be.  Jayden and I go a long, long way back.  He ‘gets me’ in my needs.”

“And don’t you worry your pretty little head about my ‘switching’ on you.  That is not how the dynamics of our relationship work.  We’ve established that I am the dominant partner here and that is not going to change, my dear.  You have a submissive heart and that is one of the things I love about you.” She continued.

“Yes, my dear, a ‘submissive heart.’  You enjoy pleasing others.  It’s what fulfills you the most.  Pleasing them in life, in general, and pleasing others sexually, in specific.  Some might say you’re a ‘natural bottom.’”

I had much to learn.  I now know there’s a difference between a top and a master or mistress.  And that there’s a difference between a bottom and a slave.  I also learned what a sissy is.  Or at least, what it could mean.  There’s lots of different meanings to the same terms, it seems.

“Giselle?” Natalie informed me, “she’s a sissy.  A sissy pain slut.  Such a wonderful gurl.  I’ve known her for years.  I knew her when she was just a newbie crossdresser who was painfully shy at the parties we both happened to be at.  She’s had quite the voyage!  No, my dear, not everyone has the same path or winds up at the same destination in their voyages.  Giselle didn’t just want to ‘play dress up’ but wanted to become as outwardly feminine as possible.  No, she’s not a transgendered at all.  It’s a fetish for her, not an orientation or ‘gender dysphoria’ thing.”  

“Oh no, my dear.  She wanted to be neutered.  Yes, she did.  She chose that.  No, not everyone who gets into gender play will choose that.  Nor even come anywhere close.  In that regard, yes, she’s a ‘heavy player’ indeed.  Oh my, Diana, you have ever so much to learn about the ‘Scene.’” She warmly continued.

There was lots of learning on my part that afternoon.  And into that evening.  It took me aback quite a bit to learn about sanitizing a leather whip, for instance.  Natalie had me do it and did so deliberately as she knew it would bring up quite a few more questions.  These, beyond merely handling the obviously blooded whip and then the proper cleaning and remoisturizing of its leather.

“Patricia?  My dear sweet Patricia?  Yes, that should scare you.  It should scare anyone.  Well, anyone not familiar with what was going on.  I’ve played with her for years.  She’s happily married to a wonderful man.  But, he’s ‘vanilla’ despite being otherwise wonderful.  Yes, ‘vanilla’ as in not kinky or part of the ‘Scene.’  He understands his wife’s kink needs though and, within carefully defined limits, he’s fine with her answering those needs.  Answering them with me in that way.  It’s a good balance.  No, my love, I don’t have the need to whip everyone I meet.  Certainly not like I whipped Patricia.  But, when I have such a need there are people like Patricia who are eager to help me fulfill that need.  Just as when she has a need to go under that way – to submit that way, to be so physically overwhelmed that way – there’s people like me with whom she can fulfill those needs.”  It was a lot to take in as I used the diluted bleach and water solution to remove the Patricia’s dried blood from Natalie’s whip and then leather conditioner to restore the leather’s suppleness.  

Eventually, Natalie had me apply lotion to her back.  I half expected her back to be as torn up as Patricia’s from the way Jayden had laid into her with his flogging.  It wasn’t.  Her skin seemed a bit abraded and there were some minor welts on her back but nowhere was her skin broken.  A couple of reddish spots along her sides were from when Jayden had “wrapped” his flogger and the end of the tails of the flogger has snapped harder on that flesh than her back.   I rubbed more of the aloe cream there as well.  Being flogged, even heavily flogged like Jayden did with Natalie, isn’t the same as being whipped with a “single tail” whip like Natalie used on Patricia.  So much for me to learn and take in.

Of course, my rubbing all that cream onto Natalie’s body had other effects.  Especially as she rolled over and pulled me to her so that I could “rub” other parts of her body.  And she could rub mine as well.  I was soon once again between her gorgeous thighs and worshipping her flower.  It was a nicely slow and languid time in bed together.  We’d both taken the “edge off” of our being so aroused from the previous night’s excitement that we both preferred the slower pace that afternoon.  Even when she put on her strap-on it was still a wonderfully slow and sensual thing.  

She lay on her back, propped up with some pillows on the headboard, and had me impale myself slowly and wonderfully.  We savored each other’s bodies.  Kissing and licking and nibbling and suckling on each other’s breasts.  Eventually, after the multitude of climaxes my tongue had given her when I’d been between her thighs, and when she found me enflamed enough from the slow rocking myself on her silicon phallus, she rolled me over onto my back and picked up her pace.

My climax that morning with Jayden’s filling me was a wonderful thing.  It was a desperately needed thing.  But it was also rushed.  What Natalie drove me to that night was drawn out enough that it became a truly consuming and fulfilling orgasm for me.  Deeper and fuller and much more relaxed and intimate.  It was a wonderful way to end the weekend.  I feel asleep wrapped up in Natalie’s arms.

I wish I could’ve stayed with Natalie through the rest of the week.  But, we both had too much other things to do.  Well, at least she did.  I wasn’t needed at the studio until Wednesday.  So, the next morning, after again worshiping her flower, we parted.  We’d risen quite early so I had plenty of time to get back to the apartment, change into my exercise clothes and get to my yoga session.  I made sure not to wash off any of Natalie’s juices from my face.  No one could see the remnants on my skin but I could smell her as my body heat rose in the yoga class.  I can be so naughty at times!

Once back and showered I realized how little I had to do.  And how empty they apartment was without my Paul there.  Without anyone there or anything for me to do.  I decided to get myself being busy just to occupy the time.  Of all things, I started cleaning the place.  Oh, I’d cleaned the apartment before.  Paul and I both had.  We knew how to keep our place tidy enough.  Not obsessively but, clean enough that none of the girls we had over could complain about it.  But cleaning was not something high on my list of things to do otherwise.

Then I had one of my brain flashes and decided I could at least have some fun with it.  So I zipped on over to Trashy’s to get myself a “maid’s uniform.”  I figured I could try it and if it fit and was sexy I could surprise Paul with it some time.  Silly me.  I was expecting them to have a “maid’s uniform” alright but only “A” maid’s uniform – as in just one sort of “maid’s uniform.”  No, they had dozens of different ones.  “French Maids,” “Continental Maids,” “Traditional Maids,” “Fetish Maids,” “Sexy Maids,” and on and on!  I had fun going through them and trying a bunch of them on.  I finally selected just one.  A more “subtle” one that seemed like I could actually stand wearing it as I did actual housecleaning.  And it was also sexy enough too!  I picked up a little collar and leash while I was there.  Yes, I probably paid far, far too much for the fetish stuff there at Trashy’s.  It would probably have been a lot cheaper to have gotten the collar and leash over at the Pleasure Chest or one of the leather toy stores in Silverlake.  But it was right there and I was amidst a bout of “retail therapy.”

I scampered back to the apartment and changed into my little maid’s uniform.  It was so super cute.  Traditional black, of course, with little white cuffs for my wrists and ankles, and a little white bonnet thing.  Stereotypical to the nines.  Especially with the fishnets I put on.  I initially wore a pair of my super sexy stilettos as I flounced about the apartment cleaning as I went.  But my feet were still pretty sore from wearing the ballet boots at the party so I changed into some flats and continued.  I did however, pop in one of my butt plugs.  The pressure and fullness wasn’t enough to rub my “girly p-spot” but it felt super nice to have some pressure there.

I then put on the collar and snapped the leash to it.  I held the leash out and looked at myself in the mirror.  If I held my arm out beyond the mirror’s edge I could pretend someone was holding my leash.  That Jayden was holding my leash.  Or Natalie.  Or Paul.  Or… that man in the leather suit at the party.  Oh…

Eventually, the apartment was cleaned.  Well, cleaned enough as I was definitely getting into that “sub space” from it all.  I’d asked Natalie what “sub space” meant.  “That’s the sort of happy submissive state that some people – like you – can let their mind flow into when they feel so secure and at ease and are being dominated in some way.  For some, all it takes is a certain scent – like that of leather outfits – or a physical sensation – like the feeling of nylons or panties on their skin – and they start floating into that ‘sub space.’  Like when you started drifting off into that happy floating mindset after we’d gotten you in that latex bodysuit and planted you on that dildo.  All those little endorphins flowing through your brain left you nice and high and wonderfully submissive.  There’s nothing wrong with it my dear.  It’s a wonderful thing.  And you should be quite happy that you can go there so easily.  It’s part of why I think you do have that ‘submissive heart.’” She’d answered.

I was getting quite horny as well.  So, cleaning time was officially then over!  I put the cleaning stuff away and broke out one of my larger dildos.  This one had a suction cup at its base.  I made sure I was nicely lubed up and planted that dildo onto the floor by the front door.  I hitched the leash to the door knob and planted myself on that dildo.  I wasn’t at all surprised how easily the fake cock slide into my rear.  I’d been worked there enough over the weekend.  

When I was fully impaled – wonderfully impaled – I held out my cellphone and took some selfies.  It took a little bit of angling but I eventually got some super sexy images of me on my knees with the leash taut off to one side as if someone were grasping it.  A bit of tugging and I had my nipples out over the top of the maid’s dress.  Those images were pretty hot, actually.  I rocked myself up and down on that dildo.  I put the phone down and began working my nipples.  As I got closer I picked up another one of my toys and began sucking on it.  I closed my eyes and let my arousal and lust take me away.

I leaned back a bit to feel the leash pull against my throat.  I pushed the dildo further into my mouth and sank deeper onto the one in my rear.

I imagined I was a slutty sissy maid and that my master was rewarding me for having been such a good slutty sissy maid.  That he was skull fucking me there by the front door.  That I’d been kneeling by that front door as per his instructions.  Kneeling and impaled on that dildo so my rosebud would be properly stretched for him to take.  Take once he’d pushed himself into my mouth as a warm up.  

I imagined it was Paul filling my mouth with his wonderful cock.  That I was surprising him upon his return from his time with the boys.  I imagined that he hadn’t returned alone but there were some of this other friends along.  And that they then all used me.  That I wound up being bent over the couch and my maid’s uniform skirt being flipped up as they filled my rear with their wonderful cocks.  As one would fill my rear the others would fill my mouth.  And that Paul would be holding my leash controlling me until they all had their way with me.  Then Paul, my wonderful Paul, would take me to bed and have his way with me.

I came and came hard at all that.  It was wonderful.  It was badly needed.  And I was amazed where my thoughts had gone.  As my lust ebbed a bit I was a bit embarrassed at what I gone to such lengths to achieve.  The maid’s outfit, the dildo on the floor, the sucking on another one.  It was a bit much.  And a bit raunchy.  And it was fun.

And I was still horny.

I cleaned things up.  Not the least of which was washing my cum out from under the skirt of the maid’s outfit.  I hadn’t even had to touch my little soldier to cum.  My fantasies were that strong and the feeling of that dildo in my rear was that good as it rubbed my prostate just the right way.  Yum!

It took at bit to get wound up again.  I had dinner first and then some wine and was really, really wishing Paul were back.  I brought the pics over from the phone onto my laptop.  Ugh!! The lighting was awful!  I could see every flaw in my makeup and how my hair wasn’t right and how my uniform wasn’t on perfectly and how the little maid’s cap was askew and how it all looked so amateurish and… it was hot.  It was really hot.  

With my breasts out over the top of the uniform I looked like a porn girl about to get done.  I knew Paul would love it.  Jayden would love it.  That mystery man in his leather suit would love it.  I even thought, being truly outlandish, whether Mr. Simms would love it?

It was late enough, and the bed was empty enough, that I knew I wouldn’t get to sleep soon enough unless I took care of the fire I’d been lighting all day.  I picked out another one of my toys and crawled into bed.  I felt wonderfully full down there with it in me and I could run it across my “p-spot” in just the right way.  Laying there, toying myself and playing with my nipples I began fantasizing again.  Wildly so.

Fantasizing that Paul took me to the next play party.  That he had me up there on that St. Andrews and had flogged me just like Jayden had done.  And that I loved it.  Loved it but it wasn’t enough.  So he took me over to the Bench and strapped me on to it.  Strapped me on to it and stood back to watch as one man after another took me.  One man after another took me at each end.  I was hooded but my head wasn’t strapped in place and there was no “ring gag” forcing my mouth open.  I was eagerly sucking each cock I could get and happily squeezing the muscles in my rear around the cocks filling me behind.  

I fantasized this went on and on and on and I passed out from the pleasure of it all.  It was such a wonderful fantasy.  I was so close.

Then I fantasized that Paul took me off the Bench and handed my leash over to that man in the leather suit.  That I was his “sissy fucktoy” and that he changed me.  That he made me look just like Giselle.  That he had surgeons alter my face to look just like the “Hollywood Trophy Wife Bimbo” face she’d been altered to be.  And that this leather suited master had then taken the last step and had me castrated just like Giselle.  That I’d actually begged him to do that to me.  To make me just like the sexual creature she was so that I could always be free in pleasuring others.  Huge tits, a sculpted face and a shrunken soft little cock just like hers was after being castrated…

It was dark and should’ve crashed all my arousal right there and then.  Instead, it was what pushed me over the top into a near blinding climax.  I spurted hard.  All over my tummy and onto my breasts.  I came harder from that than I had fantasizing I was Paul’s sissy maid or when Natalie had pegged me so well.  

Once I’d come down from my climax, I bundled the dildo in the towel I had there in the bed with me and just pushed it all onto the floor.  I rolled over and hugged the pillow.  I’d never had such fantasies.  I’d especially never had such dark ones.  “Castration?”  Did I really just fantasize about that?  Did that really make me cum so hard?  Did I really want that?  I hugged the pillow more tightly.

I wish Paul were back.  I really needed him to hold me.

Day 559

I’m super glad how things seem to work out for me.  I’d just gotten back from my morning’s yoga class and got a text from Dr. Williams’ office wanting to know if I could reschedule Friday’s appointment to today instead.  Yes!!!  I really needed someone to talk to about all the stuff going on inside my head and I didn’t think I’d last until Friday!  

So, a couple hours later I was listening to Dr. William’s wonderful warm voice as we got into another hypnosis therapy session.  Things got a bit fuzzy after that, like they usually do, but when the hypnosis part ended it got a lot better.

“Diana,” Dr. Williams reassured me, “you’ve nothing to worry about.  A lot of people get upset and scared when they first encounter the ‘S and M’ world.  A lot of what can go on there can seem quite extreme and repulsive at first.  And then they become even more worried that they find some of that extreme and repulsive things are what actually has turned them on the most.  It’s nothing to worry about.  In the end, you only become what you wish to become.  The whole thing is consensual.”

“That ‘Giselle’ person sounds like an extreme case, yes.  But she’s made her choices to pursue that particular type of fetish – and it is a fetish.  That is, an ‘overwhelming and all consuming interest in a particular behavior, action or inanimate object.’  Lots of people use the word ‘fetish’ when they actually are describing a sexual kink.  If, for instance, the only way you could achieve any sexual gratification was by wearing a clown mask and the only other people you were attracted to were those also in clown masks then you could accurately be said to have ‘a fetish for clown masks.’  If, on the other hand, you simply found it fun to occasionally wear a clown mask while having sex then it would just be a ‘sexual kink’ at most.”

“Giselle sounds like she developed a fetish for extreme gender sexual role play and pursued it to that unique level.  That is her ‘kink’ and her ‘fetish.’  It’s also her choice, Diana.  And it’s a choice she has had to have made over a very long time.  She is not you, Diana.  And you are not her.  Just because you’ve been playing the part of Diana for some time now doesn’t mean you have a fetish for that level or type of play.  No, my dear, you’ve just encountered a very extreme S&M player and it’s something extremely new to you.  It’s not surprising that took you back a bit and gave you pause.” He calmly reassured me.

“As to the rest?  To what Natalie said?  That whole ‘submissive heart’ she described?  Well, that’s her way of looking at the fact that you enjoy pleasing others.  There’s nothing wrong with that.  And being able to readily accept the help of others – who mean well – in going about your life isn’t wrong either.  Yes, Diana, I think some of that may well be due to the mindset you’ve had to maintain to play your part in the production.  There’s nothing wrong with that.  There’s nothing wrong with you.  That you enjoy pleasing others – ‘submissive heart or however else it’s described – isn’t a bad or a wrong thing.  And just because you saw a very extreme ‘S&M’ player who was happy in their pursuit of their particular extreme fetish doesn’t mean you have to become like them or will become like them or should become like them.  You, Diana, will only become what you want to become.”  

It was a lot for me to take in.  But it was also quite the load off of my mind to hear Dr. Williams tell me all this.  I can see why he was such a help to Paul and why Mr. Simms set me up with him too.

That night I didn’t dream of being some castrated sissy, thankfully.  I did wish though, that Paul was home.  That and I once again dreamed I was dressed in this gorgeous outfit I’d had visions of for months now.  It was this divine fluffy marabou gown thing that was pure fantasy and completely impractical but also pure sex!  I’d be wearing it and Paul would ravish me in it the moment he saw me wearing it!  I did fantasize all that but what pushed me to making my panties wet was again fantasizing that I was Mr. Simms’ wife and that Paul was my boytoy on the side.  And that Mr. Simms put me over his knees after he found I’d boinked Paul while wearing that outfit.  And that as he spanked me he started getting hard himself and then he ravished me as well.  That my sore buns only made my climax all the more intense when Mr. Simms took me.

Why I’ve been fantasizing more about Mr. Simms was something I’m going to have to ask Dr. Williams about the next therapy session.

Day 560

OMG!!!!  OMG!!!!!  The lingerie is in!  It’s all in!  We start shooting it today!  The lingerie is in!  Finally!

Day 561

What a glorious day!  Yesterday was super awesome!  Nothing but one bra and panties set after another!  And then there were the girdles and the long lines and the corselettes and every sort of ‘shapewear’ I could imagine.  All vintage retro style!  All nicely demur, of course.  Perfectly fitting for an elegant lady like me!  It was a dreamy day that I didn’t want to end!  And there’s more today!  Mr. Simms said it’s more ‘boudoir attire’ today!  Yummie!  I made sure to really do my cardio this morning and make sure I was super limber with my yoga.  And you better believe I’m going to be at the studio the moment it opens!

Day 570

Wow.  I don’t know where to start.  I’m still buzzing from it all.  I actually started writing this out yesterday but wound up starting and stopping and it was just a mess.  So, I’m starting it again with a somewhat clearer head.  Part of that is because Paul isn’t here again and part of that is because Mr. Simms had to go back to Donovan’s to review the latest photos with them.  I’ve got a few moments, a day or two actually, to try and sort things out and can now put things to paper here.

Okay…  the lingerie.  The second day of shooting the new lingerie had me in the “boudoir” selections.  They were a bit more ‘sensual’ than the undies and ‘shape wear’ I was in on Wednesday.  Mr. Simms was amused how excited I was and how I was pestering him about what the “boudoir” stuff entailed.  He teased me a bit with it saying it was special and that it was “the stuff of dreams, my dear Diana.”

Oh how right he was!  Lots of lace and frills and super sexy girly things.  All 50’s retro style.  All day, too.  The A/C was up just like with the swimsuits and this time Mr. Simms was prepared.  Oh so very prepared!  It wasn’t just some overcoat he had with him to help keep me warm between the shots.  Oh no, not merely that.  No, it was full length fur coat!  An actual fur coat!  Midnight black and so gorgeous!  And so super sexy and so warm!  He said he’d gotten it for as an anniversary gift for a woman who was now his ex.  She’d filed for divorce before he could give it to her and thus it was “just sitting there in the closet.”  It was the perfect thing for me to snuggle up next to him and stay warm underneath it as I waited for the crew to get the lighting and stuff going.  I was even more bouncy and enthusiastic this time too!  I mean, it was lingerie!  Sexy stuff for an elegantly sexy lady – how could I not be bouncy?

It was one outfit after the next.  Each one seemed even sexier than the last.  And then, late in the day, it was there!  IT was there!  My fantasy was there.  It was really there.  Not just some mirage or some hope and dream that I was imagining.  No, my dream outfit was there for real.  That outfit I’d been having visions of for months now actually was real! And it was there for me!  Right in front of me and there for me to wear!  I was giddy!  I squealed with glee – really, I actually did – when Mr. Simms brought it out to me!  Well, I squealed once I got over that it actually existed and was real, that is.

Oh my god!  It was gorgeous.  It was everything I hoped it could be.  It was everything I imagined it would be – but better!

This outfit – this dream of mine turned reality – was that white fur trimmed floor length marabou robe.  Oh god, the thing is gorgeous!  The robe is this ultra sheer see through nylon and it’s these draped cuffs and trail with a white satin belt to tie off the waist.  It’s utterly over the top and beyond sexy and completely impractical for anyone to wear.  I had to be extra super special careful just walking between the fitting room and the photo studio so I didn’t snag it on anything.  It was that sheer and that fluffy and that billowy and that sort of bygone era glamorous!

Mr. Simms had me wear my yummiest full fashion nude stockings, these full coverage white panties – thank god for those and my little gaff or I’d have ruined the whole shot with a wet spot and bulge! – and a suspender belt from the new line.  Some rhinestone encrusted open toe pumps finished off my gorgeous gams as they peeked out from under the hem of the robe.  The red of my toenails contrasting with the white fluff of the robe’s hem.

Up top, things were more scandalous.  Yum!!!!  I wasn’t wearing any bra for this outfit!  No, just these little pasties covering my nipples.  My glorious breasts were gloriously on full glorious display!  I was wearing this divine jeweled necklace and my hair was perfectly styled to cascade around my face.  Topping it all off was this little fluff headpiece that matched the fluff of the robe!

Oh my!  It was as if I was becoming my own fantasy vision come to life!  I looked just like one of those glamor princesses from Hollywood’s Golden Age!  I could’ve stood in for Grace Kelly or for Rita Hayworth!  I was even sexier than Marilyn in that outfit!  

It took all of my self-control and poise to get through the photo shoot without making that wet spot in my panties.  The heat was just building inside me like nothing else!  It was a good thing that this was the last outfit of the day for the photo shoot or else I’d have been wrecked for anything else afterward.  As it was, the build-up of one gorgeous bit of lacy, sexy, feminine dreamy stuff had me overly wound up to begin with.  This “fantasy become reality piece” was just pushing me over the top.  Mr. Simms was all smiles.  And that just made me even happier.

Gina, god bless her, had her hands full with me in that outfit.  She rolled with it though, like the pro she was.  She saw how much that outfit was turning me on and decided to make use of it with the photos.  Her patter as she worked me through one pose after another was just making me hotter and hotter.

“Oh, that’s it Diana.  That’s it.  Yes, just like that.  Good girl.  Hold that pose.  Good.  Raise your left hand… stop.  Good.  Turn your hips to the right… there.  Yes, that’s it.  You’re ready for your man now, aren’t you girl?  Yes, you bet you are in that outfit.  That’s why you’re wearing it.  Yes, that’s the look I want.  Yes.  Alright turn around.  Yes.  Yes!  Good girl!  Perk out that gorgeous ass!  Yes!  Good!  Okay, now pick up the robe with your left hand and bring its hem up.  Good… good… stop.  Yes, that’s it.  That’s it.  Tease your man.  Yes!  Work the camera girl!  Work it!”

She went on and on with that.  I was getting cross eyed from the fire inside me.  God damn I was so turned on!

Finally, she’d had enough.  We’d gotten tons of images.  Posing this way and that way and standing facing one way and then the other and then cheesecake poses and… and… I was aching for release.

We finally were done and I rushed over to Mr. Simms and bounced up and down with him as I gave him this big hug and a kiss on his cheek.  He laughed and hugged me back before swatting my butt to send me off to my dressing room.  The day was done and the rest of the crew there at the studio were packing up and heading home.  I’d soon be joining them but had to change first.

And I really didn’t want to change.  Not change out of that gorgeous marabou robe.

I got into my little dressing room and stopped to catch my breath.  I looked at myself in the mirror as I stood there in that dreamy outfit.  I was the living vision of everything I’d ever wanted in a woman.  I was the living vision of everything any man would want in a woman.  I simply couldn’t take it anymore and had to get some release.

It got worse when I peeled off those pasties.  The sudden rush of air onto my now exposed nipples was one thing.  The sensations of the filmy material of the robe was something else.  I nearly exploded just from that.  Then I looked at myself in the mirror.  I had to get some release.  I had to!

I popped the suspenders and then shucked the full panties.  It took only a little fumbling and I had my “gaffe” off of me.  My little soldier was instantly at full attention the moment I got him free.  I quickly got the suspenders back attached to my stockings and got back in front of the mirror again.  My image was just too powerful not to react to.  I looked exactly like the visions of Diana – of myself - I’d been having for months now.  I’d be alone in bed and filling myself with one of my toys and as I closed my eyes getting into the sensations this vision would pop up in my mind.  It was me – it was Diana – in exactly this marabou robe and fluff and heels and… and everything!  The universe must have been bringing this to me.  That vision was almost always enough to send me over the top and now here I was actually wearing what I’d been fantasizing about for months!  I was ecstatic and bursting with arousal over it all.  Even with my penis sticking out under the white filminess of the marabou robe I was still this vision of supreme feminine gorgeousness and appeal and sexiness and… I had to get release!  I had to!  

I wrapped my hand around my penis – right over the robe – and slowly began stroking myself.  With my other hand I played my fingers along my body through the robe and wound up at my nipples.  All while watching myself in the mirror.  I was my own sexual fantasy come to life.  Every one of my moves was scintillating ecstasy through my own nerves.  I was my fantasy vision and my fantasy vision was turning me on.  

This was who I was.  Diana was me and I was Diana.  I had become everything I ever wanted to be as an elegant lady.  I had arrived.  Diana had arrived.  I was everything I’d ever lusted for and my lust was white hot at that moment.  The sensations of that filmy marabou as it glided across my skin was electric.  Especially as it ran across my nipples – which were diamond hard at that point.  The feeling of that satiny fabric on my stiff penis as I wrapped my hand around it through the robe was heady and enflaming.  I was so close.  So achingly close.

Looking at my reflection in the mirror as I tweaked my nipples with my free hand was bringing me ever closer to a climax that been building in me for hours.  My lipstick was perfect, my lips glossy and full and parted so sensuously as I was almost panting with lust.  I was rocking my hips back and forth and clenching my little rosebud as I did so.  I was so close.  So very close to cumming.

But I couldn’t.  I couldn’t cum.  Even as I teetered on that razor’s edge of arousal versus orgasm I realized I couldn’t cross it.  I couldn’t push myself over unto the bliss I so desperately needed.  I wanted to.  I was aching to.  But, something was missing.  It wouldn’t be right.  It couldn’t be right.  Diana was an elegant lady.  And an elegant lady needs a man.  An elegant lady like Diana needed a man to be truly complete.  I needed a man.  Diana needed a man.  Not just any man but her man.

When, through the haze of arousal, I realized that was what was missing I moaned in frustration.  In frustration and lust. And in pain.  I was so turned on it hurt!  I needed a man.  Diana needed a man.  Diana was the perfect vision of elegance and sexuality and sensuality…. for a man.  Not for herself.  Diana was everything a man could desire – but she needed a man to fulfill those desires.  She couldn’t fulfill them without a man.  I’d no idea where or how this realization came from but only that it made sense.  It made perfect sense.  It was absolute and correct and right and so very, very desperately needed.  Diana needed a man to fulfill her.  Diana needed a man to bring her fully to life and realize everything about her.  Diana needed a man – a real man, not a boy pretending to be a man.  But an actual man.  A real man who could take Diana.  Take her completely.  Possess Diana as an elegant lady like her needed to be possessed.

I’d no idea how long I stood there with that realization screaming in my head.  I stood there, one hand wrapped ‘round my achingly hard penis as I gripped it through the marabou robe, the other hand with its fingers still wrapped around my achingly hard nipple, my lips still parted in such an enticing way, and my focus a million miles away as I gazed so deeply into the reflection of the perfect image of Diana staring back at me.

So entranced was I with that image and so overwhelmed was I with that realization that I didn’t hear the knocking on the door to the dressing room and it was only after he’d already opened the door and stepped in that I snapped out of my overwhelmed state.  Snapped out of it to finally see my man standing there.

My man.

Mr. Simms.

Mr. Simms was standing in my dressing room and seeing me, seeing Diana, in all her aching sexual need.  Seeing Diana with her new found realization of just who, exactly, she truly was.  Seeing her knowing what, exactly, she truly needed.

I was on Mr. Simms in a heartbeat.  That marabou robe gliding so wonderfully behind me as took long graceful strides to him and wrapped myself around him.  My luscious red lips pressed firmly to Mr. Simms’ mouth as I kissed him so deeply.  Whatever apologies he’d attempted to make for surprising me were drowned out by my lips upon his and my aching need bursting forth.

My hands were all across his body and, thankfully, they quickly encountered the burgeoning hardness there between his legs.  At that moment, I was too blinded by lust, and by need, and by desire to have considered the consequences or the risks.  I just knew that I had to have Mr. Simms have me.  I knew that Diana couldn’t exist without that.  I needed Mr. Simms to take me and take me right there and then.

I don’t remember, exactly, how I managed to get his pants unbelted, unbuttoned, unzipped and then his hardening cock out from underneath it all, but I did.  This while kissing him and hugging him and running my hands all over his body.  And with his hands running all over my body as well.  Thankfully.

Soon – but far too long a time for my need – I was there on my knees with Mr. Simms’ cock in front of me.  Holding it, stroking it, savoring it, I winced with pleasure and joy when I was able to touch it.  I looked up at him and asked – no, I begged – if I could please him.  The need to do so was overwhelming within me.

“Oh god, yes!  Diana!  Yes!” he stammered.  And I fell upon his cock as a woman possessed.  In a heartbeat I was there with my nose pressing into the flesh at the base of my man’s cock.  The rush of submission… of completeness… I felt at that moment was scintillating.  That Mr. Simms then put a hand at the back of my head to press me tighter to him only made it more wonderful.  I began working on my man’s cock as his woman should.  As Diana should.  Yes, at that moment I realized that I was his woman.  I was his girl.  I was his gurl.  I was Diana and Diana was his.  

Even then however, I knew that as wonderful as it was to have his shaft running past my lips what I truly needed was that shaft filling me up between my legs.  Mounting me and fully taking what was rightly his.  I needed that.  Diana needed that.  And I hoped, desperately hoped, that my man needed that as well.  

Mr. Simms, bless him, sensed where I was going with this and deftly maneuvered me up onto the couch there in the dressing room.  Usually covered in outfits and gear and such, the winding down of the photography shootings had left that couch almost empty, luckily.  And in no time I was on my back with my man pushing his glorious cock into me.  Habit of many, many months now had ensured that I didn’t face a day without cleaning out and lubing up so I was more than ready for Mr. Simms to push himself into me and make Diana his.  And Mr. Simms was more than ready as well.  I actually left little cut marks from my fingernails – deep red to match my lipstick – in his back as my hands clenched around him as his cock pushed in me.  The pleasure of that consummation was that intense.  My eyes rolled back and I climaxed right there and then.  My shrieking in ecstasy would’ve been louder had it not been for Mr. Simms pressing his lips back upon mine and possessing my mouth with his tongue.  Being possessed by my man at both ends drove me into that full body climax.

His weight upon me felt heavenly.  His taste, his scent, his power… they were perfect.  They all were what Diana needed.  It was all so perfect.  It was everything I could have imagined.  It was the consummation on countless fantasies and nighttime dreams that had left my panties soaked upon waking the next morning.  Looking back upon it, I realized that I had, in fact, many such visions of Mr. Simms taking me and ravishing me and possessing me.  Possessing me exactly as he was now doing.  But, those had been wild and lurid fantasies.  I’d no idea where they’d come from but they’d become ever more frequent.

I think it must’ve been how the therapy sessions with Dr. Williams was helping me to find my actual self during those hypnosis sessions.  The fantasies always seemed more vivid after those sessions.  It was as if what mental blocks I had to Diana’s realizing herself became fewer and fewer the more Dr. Williams helped me.  Or perhaps it was those motivational MP3 files I listened to that gave me the mental focus to let Diana free within my own mind.

Whatever it was, whatever the cause, whatever the reason, there, on that dressing room couch, Mr. Simms brought it all together for me as Diana when he kissed me deeply.  Kissed me deeply and held me tightly as his body went rigid and I felt him throb within me.   It was his seed shooting into me that made Diana bloom and blossom as the elegant lady serving her man as she truly needed to be.  I know it was.

The joy and the emotions and the ecstasy and the release and the realizations were all so overwhelming.  I was crying at that moment.  Crying with happiness.  Crying with joy.  Crying with relief.  Mr. Simms kissed my tears away and hugged me tighter.

“No my dear.  No need for tears.  You’re perfect, my princess.  You’re everything I could want.  I’m so glad you finally realized it all.  I was hoping you would.  I’ve wanted you to be free for so long Diana.  I’m so happy for you.  So happy for you… my perfect princess.  My lady…” he gushed to me between his kissing me and holding me.

And I kissed and hugged him back with just as much passion and happiness.

We lay there, happily entwined in each other, for hours, for seconds, for a moment, for an age.  For a wonderful age.  Even as he softened and came out of me, I still didn’t want it to end.  But, I’m just a silly, silly gurl and my man knew better.  My man always knows better.

“Please, Diana, call me Reggie.” He shushed me when I tried using “Mr. Simms” once again.  I giggled and said “Yes, Daddy.”

At first I thought I’d made a mistake doing that.  Reggie had suddenly stopped and pulled away from me for a moment.  He looked deeply into my eyes.  “Daddy?” he asked.  “You want to call me Daddy, my princess?”

I barely managed a hesitant nod in response before he engulfed again with his hugging and his kissing.  I glowed in his approval.  Yes!  “Daddy” was it!  Mr. Reginald Simms was my “Daddy.”  Oh, yes!  My man, my Daddy!

Luckily, most everyone at the studio had packed up and gone home for the night by the time we’d gotten ourselves together and made our own exit.  I stepped out of my dream outfit, regretfully.  Mr. Simms… Daddy… smiled at me even before I could ask.

“Yes, princess, you can take that with you tonight” he beamed.  I bounced up and down and hugged him some more.  Smothering him with even more kisses pressing my perked up breasts tightly to him.  He spanked my tush in response and told me to get dressed.

In a blur we were up at his place in the Hills.  I didn’t pay any attention to the drive as I was just so happy to be there with my head laying on my Daddy’s shoulder as he drove us up and over to his house.  We quickly wound up in the shower together where we cleaned each other off – yum!

Then it was into his big king size bed where my Daddy once again mounted and took his princess!  It was slower this time, no less intense but not rushed at all.  I came twice that night.  The first time I was actually on top of Daddy.  I’d been worshipping his wonderful cock until he pulled me off of it and had me plant myself down astride him.  He made me stop there for a few moments to savor it all.  And so that he could savor me as well.  I loved that.  Being pretty and sexy and beautiful for my Daddy was such a turn on for an elegant lady like Diana.  I relished the attention.

Soon I was grinding myself back and forth on his cock inside me.  It felt heavenly.  My little penis was nice and hard and it was a surprise when Daddy took it in his hand and slowly began to stroke it in time with my grinding on his thick tool inside me.  I felt so small in comparison to him when he did that.  I loved it!  The way he was able to fill me with his cock – a man’s cock and not the gurl’s cock that I had – didn’t make me feel diminished or anything.  I was Daddy’s elegant lady and it was only fitting, then, that Daddy had the real cock.  And the way he so lightly stroked my little penis just felt so good.  The way he played with my beautiful breasts felt even better.

We worked up a wonderful blaze in each other that night.  Me doing what Diana should do with her Daddy’s cock – pleasuring it with her puckered little rosebud.  Daddy working his gurl’s little penis and breasts just right to make her scream with pleasure.  And scream I did!  Daddy worked me just right and pushed me over the edge with his touches just as my working my tight little butt on his cock sent him to spurting his cum inside me again.  I made a wonderful sticky mess in his hand and onto his tummy.  Daddy had me lick it off and, like the good gurl I am, I happily did so.  The way he hugged me afterward was heavenly.  

An hour or two later, after raiding the fridge and having some coffee together in bed, we were at it again.  There was nothing so leisurely this time.  Daddy put me in my place!  It’s a place Diana yearned to be – on her back with her man holding her nylon clad legs apart as he fills his gurl with his cock.  Daddy was hard and firm with me then.  My nipples ached from his clamping his fingers on them.  I swooned at.  His kisses were powerful and commanding and I melted in joy beneath him.  We were both so turned on from the whole day that I came without even touching myself.  The spasms of my little penis spurting set off spasms in my back passage that had Daddy cumming in me again.

We drifted off to sleep together after that.  Daddy’s cum sticky between my ass cheeks after he finally pulled himself out of me.  It was a wonderful feeling.

The next morning Daddy sent me scampering off to the bathroom to get a facecloth, run it under hot water and then come back to properly clean off his manhood before I got my mouth back upon it to properly “attend to your Daddy” there in bed.  I happily complied and was rewarded, eventually, with a mouth full of Daddy’s hot and tasty cum.  Then it was shower time for both of us.

Daddy found me this cute little apron to wear as I cooked up breakfast.  I was hoping he’d make use of how much it left uncovered to ravish his gurl right there and then in the kitchen.  But, we both were really hungry and knew there’d be plenty of time for ravishing.  So, I did my best to cook up a tasty breakfast for my man and myself.

After we ate, it was wonderful to snuggle up next to him as we sat on the porch outside his kitchen and took in the view of Los Angeles from his vantage point up there in the Hills.  He smelled so good and felt so good as he held me tight.

Everything just felt… right.  So right.  So correct.  So… perfect.  This was who I was, really.  Diana. Everything about her with Daddy… Mr. Simms… was right.  There was no questioning it for me.  The only regret I could imagine having about it all was that it took so long for this to happen.  Later, much later actually, I asked Dr. Williams about that and, after I came out of the hypnosis session, he put me at ease once again.  He’s so good at that.  I’m so super lucky to have him as my doctor and it just shows how smart Daddy is for having first suggested I go see Dr. Williams.  Daddy is really smart and considerate like that.  He’s so good to me.  I’m such a lucky gurl to have him in my life.

Anyway, Dr. Williams told me that I simply hadn’t been ready to admit that Diana was, in fact, who I was.  And that I could not have acknowledged to myself at that time that Reggie was who I wanted to be with as I hadn’t acknowledged that Diana was who I was in reality.  “First things first, little lady.  You needed to realize that Diana is truly your inner being.  Once you had realized that and stopped hiding her inside yourself everything else just flowed naturally.  I do have to say, Diana, your taste in men is excellent.  Mr. Simms is indeed a wonderful man and you’re a lucky gurl that he has the same feelings for you as well.” Dr. Williams smiled at me as he saw the comforting and reassuring effect his words were having on me.  I always felt so much more calm and confident after my sessions with Dr. Williams.  So much so, that I’ve stopped bothering myself trying to remember what, exactly, he would say to me during those times I was undergoing his hypnotherapy sessions.

I just was content that those sessions worked for me and that I could trust his judgement.  Trust him like I can trust Daddy’s judgement and the judgement of so many of the wonderful men in my life.  It’s strange how just accepting Daddy’s advice or suggestions or requests actually gives me a little pitter pat of excitement and pleasure, actually.  Making the men in my life happy – and making Daddy happy specifically – just makes me happy.  To some extent, it turns me on.  Well, it feels that way.  Sometimes.  Especially with Daddy it does.  Especially when I know I’ve pleased him by doing something he’s asked of me and then he says; “Good gurl” to me.  I just get all glowy inside and I know my little penis throbs a bit every time I make him smile at me.  Silly, I know.  But, there it is.

Anyway, it was just heavenly being there in his arms that morning.  And that heavenly feeling just kept going.  He had to do some “Mr. Simms stuff,” as he put it, and told me to just relax there on the porch while he made some phone calls and took care of some business.  He felt so yummy when he came back.  We lay together cuddling and my head resting on his chest.  I could hear and feel his heart beating beneath me and I just felt so calm and good and so right to be there with Daddy.

Daddy made lunch and we talked and talked and talked.  Eventually I couldn’t stand it and got off of the stools we’d been sitting on at the counter and got down on my knees between his legs.  I quickly got his cock – his wonderful cock – out from inside his robe and began worshipping it.  The way he was making those happy sounds told me that I was not only making Daddy happy but that I was right to do so even without asking first.  Diana’s making Daddy happy is always the right thing to do.

The way Daddy just rested his hand on the back on my head as I was worshipping his cock let me know that there was no rush involved.  So, I happily took my time and drew out the pleasure for both of us.  Daddy reward his princess by gently pulling me back on his shaft as he started to cum.  That way I got a nice full mouth of his juices instead of his shooting it down my throat where I wouldn’t get to taste it as much.  Daddy is so good to me.

I just continued to kneel there, my head resting in his lap, as the glow from his climax slowly faded away.  It was a wonderful way to finish lunch!

A while later he shooed me off to the bathroom so I could do my hair and face up some.  Turns out there was a full-up make up set there that I could use.  “Left over from my ex” he told me.  She had good taste as quite a bit of it was the same brands I use.  While I was making myself ready and prettier for my man I heard Daddy answering the door and some other voices.  Shortly thereafter I heard their car drive off and Daddy called me to him.

Still in but my birthday suit – but now with nicely combed out hair and some light touches to my eyes and lips – I strode out to my man’s call.  His wolf whistle told me I was right to have done my little “runway model’s catwalk strutting” to him.  The way it set my breasts to swaying felt nice to me too.

What I saw laid out before me though brought a little moan on glee!  Daddy had gotten all these outfits for me!  And he had them all there in his living room for me to wear!  The lingerie too!

“Princess, I called the guys at the studio and had them bring it all over.  As wonderful as that marabou is, you can’t wear that out for dinner tonight.  Well, you could.  You certainly could and it would be wonderful.  However, we simply wouldn’t be able to have any privacy with you in such an outfit.”  He was teasing me and I loved it.

“I thought we could select something for tonight but wasn’t sure what would work best.  So, I had them bring up just about everything.”  He smiled at me as he drew his arms wide to show the whole collection of outfits.  It wasn’t everything I’d modeled or worn over the past year or so.  But darn, if it wasn’t close!  Outfit after outfit after outfit!  And the shoes too!  Yummy!

I about knocked Daddy over from leaping onto him and hugging him so tightly.  Oh, and kissing him too!  Daddy is so good to me.  It was a wonderful rest of the afternoon as I got everything sorted out.  There was a spare bedroom that we brought the clothing into and filled up all the dressers and closet with the different outfits.  I put on a personal fashion show for Daddy.  We could’ve stayed there all night doing that!  Daddy did like a couple of outfits in particular or maybe it was the way I moved in them or maybe we’d just spent so long working each other up as I went from outfit to outfit and paraded myself before him.

Whatever it was I eventually found myself face down on the side of the bed with Daddy flipping my skirt up and pulling my panties out of the way as he mounted me right there and then.  My face was pressed into the lingerie I’d previously been trying on for him and I had that sensation on my skin as my man pressed himself into me so wonderfully.  I’d been a good gurl and douched and lubed as that’s the only way I can bring myself to leave the house now.  Habit, I guess, but that was about the first thing I did there in the bathroom earlier.  Even before combing out my hair or putting on my makeup.  An elegant lady like Diana is always ready to please her Daddy!

I must’ve lit one helluva fire with Daddy as he was so wonderfully forceful taking his gurl that afternoon.  His hands gripping tightly into my thighs as he began driving himself fully into me.  Each thrust of Daddy’s cock riding right over my “gurly p-spot” and making me see wonderful stars from it all.  With just a few passionate thrusts Daddy brought himself to deep climax.  My head was swimming from the intensity and from realizing that I had been able to please Daddy so wonderfully.

But like the considerate and caring man that he is, Daddy made sure his gurl wasn’t left unattended.  He let his weight fall forward onto me and wrapped me up in his wonderful arms.  As he began nuzzling the nape of my neck and nibbling on my earlobes his hands found my nipples and began playing with those happy buttons.  He rocked his hips and kept his cock inside me as he did all this.  I never knew Daddy – Reggie… Mr. Simms… - could have such a wicked imagination but his sexy dirty talk into my ear then was a huge surprise and an even bigger turn on.  It didn’t take long before Daddy had me spurting from my little penis so sweetly!  As my climax overwhelmed me I collapsed onto the bed with Daddy atop me.  His weight felt wonderful on me.  He bit down on my shoulder in response and that sent some sharp bit of pleasure through me too.  Pushing himself back upright, he slowly pulled himself out of me and told me to stay put.

A moment or two later – I was really in no condition to keep track of time right then – he was back with a hand towel and wiping my puckered rosebud clean of the lube and his juices that had spread out.  Daddy then surprised me again by pressing something back into me – a butt plug!  I don’t know why I was surprised at that moment that Daddy even knew what a butt plug was – let alone that he had one nearby.  But, he did and he did!

“There you go, princess.  All nicely plugged so that nothing will leak out onto that lovely dress.  Now, why don’t you go freshen up a bit and we’ll be off to dinner!” he said as he gave my rear a set of nicely sharp spanks.

“In this dress?  Now?  But…” I stammered.

“You heard me little lady!  No back talk!” he smirked at me.

I’d rolled over and sat myself upright.  The plug pressing deeper into my behind as I did so.  I looked up at my man who had this huge and very satisfied smile on his face.  I melted.

“Yes, Daddy” I said, looking up at my man.

“Good gurl” Daddy said as he bent down to kiss his lady.  Kiss his elegant lady.  Bent down to kiss his Diana.  That made me so happy.  Everything just felt so right and complete and wonderful.