Deceived

Deceived

A sissy encounters his dream domme. The woman of his fantasies who can make him into the perfect sissy he wants to be. And transform him she does as she teaches him a lesson on what it is, exactly, to truly serve another for their pleasure.

I hate this.  I really, really hate this.  This is all so wrong.  This is nothing like what I wanted.  It's nothing like who I want to be. Nothing like who I am.  I truly hate this.  Every time I look in a damn mirror I'm reminded of just how wrong it all is and just how much I hate it.

Yet, I've got to keep going.  That's the only way I can hope to finally be what I want.  The only way I can become what I need.  The only way to finally be right.  But it is so hard.  So, so hard.  And it's all her fault.

I thought I'd met my dream woman.  She was everything I could have wanted in a Mistress.  Tall, beautiful, highly sexed, kinky as all hell, dominant, sadistic, and with a bent for sissies.  I'd heard about her from other sissies in the chat rooms I hang out in.  At the time she was living Back East but then came the news that, not only was she coming to live out here on the Left Coast, but that she was going to set up shop here in town!  The first time I saw her at that party she seemed utterly perfect.  She was dressed to kill in a beautiful leather fetish corset outfit.  High heeled boots, corset, gloves, the works.  And she was attended by what amounted to her own "court."  Aside from her own beauty it was that court of men in her attendance which really caught my eye.

There were five of them.  The two big muscle boys were pretty enough, in their testosterone reeking way, but they weren't terribly unusual to see.  Several other femme dommes had similar such boy toys.  Nothing unique there.  What was the hook for me was that she also had three sissies with her.  That turned my crank something fierce.  Those three mincing little pussy boys made me green with envy.  They were so pretty and so submissive in their girly little outfits.  And she had them mincing around all over the place too.  Damn but I wanted to be in their place serving at the feet of this radiant Mistress.  It was all I could do to keep myself from diving at her feet right then and begging her permission to serve her.

She knew that too.  She had that attitude.  She knew exactly the effect she was having on all the men and all the women at the party.  She reveled in it too.  Actually, I liked that.  I liked a woman who was in charge enough of herself to know what effect she had on others and also how to best use that effect.

I watched her that night as she cavorted through the party.  In turn she played with each of her submissives.  She thrashed one sissy after another.  Flogged the bejeezus out of her muscle boys and then canned one of her sissies to round things off.  They were their own party and they were all square in the center of attention for everyone else.  Yeah, I was jealous as all hell too.  Luckily, I didn't make a fool of myself that night.  Well, at the time I thought I was lucky for having shown some self-restraint.  Now I view myself as a fool.  If only I'd known.

Even though she'd just moved here from Back East she already had a bunch of men lined up seeking her attention.  I knew I'd have to move fast or else I'd be crowded out.  So I started hitting all the local SM group meetings I could find in the hopes that we'd cross paths.  Sure enough, about a month later we did just that.  It was at some leather social meeting and she was there with a "mini-court" of just one boy toy and one sissy.  Well, at least I thought it was a sissy.  I hoped it was.  She was so cute and demure and so well done it was hard to tell.  As the meeting was at a vanilla coffeehouse she had her attendants too normally dressed to really be able to tell.

So, I made sure I sat near her and thus could make myself known to her.  Damn that woman was magnetic.  She had lots of charisma and just radiated the sort of dominant power I crave from a woman.  Eventually I did manage to introduce myself to her and we struck up something of a conversation during the meeting.  She didn't say much about the night's discussion topic but what she did made clear she knew what she was talking about.  I took care to also speak but a little and only in a manner which made clear that I also had some experience.  This was all part of that wonderful dance of establishing mutual interest that is such a delicate thing and so wonderful when it works out.  Well, it worked out nicely for me that night.  At least that's what I thought then.

She invited me to join her and her entourage after the meeting as they went to a nearby bar for something more than just the mochas and lattes the coffeehouse could whip up.  It was at that bar that she properly introduced her two slaves.  That's what they were.  They were her collared submissives and she was their owner.  It was also there that she confirmed my hopes that both of the slaves with her that night were males.  She had the female looking one join me in the bathroom and drop his panties to show off his chastised and locked away cock.  Upon seeing this, my cock was rock hard and drooling.

That sissy told me that she had done all this to him.  She had helped him become the sissy he'd always wanted to be.  The hormones, the body electrolysis, the boob job, the locked away cock permanently limp from all the girly juice, the whole nine yards.  Damn, that made me hot.  This sissified creature was everything I wanted to be and she was the one who'd made him that way.

When we got back to the bar I could see in her face that she knew exactly what I was thinking and what I was hoping for.  She knew right then that she had me and had me cold.  Hell, I was ready to sell my soul right there and then to be her next transformation project.  And in a way, selling my soul is just what I wound up doing.

Things escalated from that point.  That erotic courtship dance between Mistress and slave had its certain steps which must needs be followed and, even if hastened, those steps still need be stepped.  So, that we did.  Soon enough though I found myself becoming part of her household.  That had only taken most of a year to achieve and she made me work each inch of the way.  Yet, the harder she made it only made me want it more.  It didn't help that she plainly knew this.  But then, I reveled in her increasing control over me and that was but a part of it.

Finally though, there came the day when I had moved in with her and the rest of her court.  In the time leading up to this moment we'd had an increasing number of scenes together and those became increasingly intense.  I loved that.  She soon had me telling her all of my most intimate secrets and fantasies.  Very little of which was any surprise to her.  She'd read me that well.  As part of our play sessions she'd started hypnotizing me.  I loved that bit of mind control aspect to the whole thing and just the idea of turned me on even more.

When I was hypnotized I told her how much I wanted to serve her.  I told her of my dreams of being used for a Mistresses pleasure.  To be her toy to use, manipulate, reshape, and feminize.  That I wanted to give myself entirely unto her care and unto her dominance.  That I would submit utterly to her whims and become her sissified slave.  That I would exist solely for her pleasure and use.  Yeah, I know, it seems both pretty standard and pretty extreme.  But that's what I really wanted and that's what I really said.

I didn't say all that just once either.  She'd made sure of that.  We went over this both during our scene play and also when I wasn't high from just being canned or flogged or pierced or pussy whipped.  She got straight answers from me as I poured myself out for her.  I would exist only to serve her and her needs.  I would be her ultimate little sissy slut slave.  Damn that made me hot.

I had visions of what was to come.  Under her care, under her dominance, under her control I'd be transformed into the simpering pansy of my dreams.  I had no idea of where this would wind up.  Maybe she'd dope me up with so much female hormones that I'd sprout breasts that'd yield real milk.  Maybe she'd make me into a big titted sissy cow.  Or some feminized body servant who'd spend all my sissy days in feminine finery waiting upon my Mistress.  Or maybe done up as some whorish slut that would be at the mercy of her and her boy toys as they'd use me for her amusement.  Oh how I fantasized about all that.  It made my dick hard even just thinking about just thinking about it.  Yeah, she had me that good.

Perhaps had I been more observant I might have noticed the look in her eyes she got when I went into my litany of how I would serve her, how I would be her ultimate sissy submissive, and how I would exist only for her pleasure, perhaps had I stepped out of my fantasy I might have seen that something was amiss.  But I didn't.  I was too far gone into the fantasy and my dick was too hard from it too.  But she could've said something too you know.  She could've clued me in.  She could've been honest about her intent.  She wasn't.  She lied to me.  She simply encouraged me and led me down the path to what I've now become.  And it's all her fault.  That bitch.  That lying bitch.  I mean, that what it all has to be.  There's no way I could've made this mistakes here. No way at all.

Up until I'd become one of her fulltime slaves and moved into her household, our play had been exactly what I'd hoped for.  It was all this wonderful dress-up sissy stuff.  I was her little Barbie doll to play with.  Well, I was one of her little Barbies.  Her other two sissies (she'd "sold" the third sissy) got first call on the playtime.  But that was cool for I figured there was a pecking order and, as the new gurl (oh how I hoped for even that!) I was at the bottom of that hierarchy.

Once I moved in though, things changed.  That first day was fun enough.  I'd brought all my sissy stuff with me, having sold or given away everything else.  The "gurls" welcomed me and we had a great day of sissy dress-up.  That night was playtime for the whole entourage and I got far more than the usual amount of attention.  I was spanked, fondled, paddled, stroked, whipped, clothespinned, bound, shackled, and given plenty of things to keep my mouth and tongue busy with.  It was great.  But it didn't last.

The next day, once my mistress had finished off her morning's breakfast, and a good hard romp with one of her boy toys, she had me come in to her study to meet with her privately.  I was trembling with anticipation.  That was when she began to crush all my hopes and dreams.  I didn't know it then but I sure as hell do now.  Oh that woman is a cruel bitch.

"Slave," she began as I knelt before her, "so far everything's been pretty much just a slap and a tickle here.  Oh, we've gotten intense enough, at times, for me to tell if you can take it and you have.  But I've kept things a tad on the light side while I sized you up.  So far you've told me everything you want, everything you dream of, everything you need.  Everything about you.  But that's the problem, it's all about you.  You.  You.  You.  You've not really told me anything about what you would do for me.  Uh, oh... silence!  Oh, I know you've told me all sorts of things you'd do for me - but none of that was said from the heart of a true slave.  It was more of what you want done to you. You've not given up your self or your attempts to control.  You've not submitted.  You have not become selfless.  You've just projected your fantasy life onto me."

I was reeling from all this.  Her words were anything but which I expected.  I was furiously trying to think of an adequate reply as she continued with her dissection of all my hopes.

"Now, what you've asked for from me is no small thing.  I really do enjoy transforming men into what pleases me for them to become and I am quite good at it.  But such a thing takes a huge amount of time and resources on my part.  And even though you're the one who's put up the cash for all the financial expenses, I'm still the one who will have make my investment of my time and my energy - and of my reputation as well."

I was lost.  With just a few brief words it was clear to me then that I had failed before I'd even begun and that she was soon to be showing me the door.  I was crushed but before I could even sob my first sob over this calamity, she offered me some hope.  Little did I know that this was actually a trap.  It would've been better for me had she really kicked me out right then.

"But, you do have some potential" she continued more brightly, "and that is why I've let you get this far.  So, before I begin any attempt at transforming you, I have to be sure you are worthy of my attentions.  I expect something in return and that something is your selflessness.  Not just your living your fantasy life enough to make your dick hard.  No, I want something that is a true sacrifice for you and something which will demonstrate your commitment to me before I commit myself to you."

At last, I thought, a glimpse of hope!  I started to blurt out my thanks and willingness but she quickly silenced me again.

"Enough!  I've told you I want your obedience and that starts with your silence as I command it."

I stilled myself immediately.

"That's better" she continued, "What I am going to require of you will be arduous and will not be anything like your oh-so-self-centered fantasies.  No, you are going to have to work for those and work hard.  But I do promise you, if you are true to me and true to your serving me, then you will, in turn, find your life more wonderful than any of those fantasies could be.  Will you do this?  Will you submit to me this way?  You may speak, slave."

Quickly, I gushed, "Oh yes my Mistress!  Yes!  I promise!  Please, let me serve you.  Let me serve you in any way you desire!"

She laughed.  A slight titter.  Had I been thinking with something else than my little head I would've seen the gleam in her eyes.  Seen that and run.  Oh, what a fool I've been.

"Very well then, slave, so shall it be.  Your training for your service will begin now.  Remember, slave, you have asked for this and done so willingly."

My tears of gratitude moistened my lips as I kissed her feet in thanks.  Had I been able to see her face at that point her smirk would surely have given me pause.

As I was lavishing my thanks upon her beautiful feet I heard her ring one of the little servant bells she had to summon her slaves to attend her.  One of her sissies quickly minced in, set down a tray of something on the table next to her and then quickly minced out.  At that point I heard someone else enter the room.  I quickly recognized him as doctor Williams.  I'd seen him before as he was the one who administered all the medical aspects of my Mistress's treatments of her slaves, both the boy toys and the sissies.

My Mistress commanded me off her shoes and off my knees into a standing position.  My mind was filled with all sorts of sissy images.  My fantasies were really flying at this point.  Was this when I'd start my hormone shots?  Was this when she'd have me examined to get my breast implants?  My cock started to harden in anticipation.

"Alright, slave," she said, "strip down so that the good doctor can see all of you."

I was very quickly nude before them both.  Neither saw fit to make much mention of my stiff cock jutting out in front of me.  Instead, the doctor simply sat comfortably as he had me turn around before him.  Then he bid me to stand closer so that he could more fully examine my cock and balls.

"Well, this is a good start at least" Dr. Wilson said as he rolled my balls between his fingers, "I think we can definitely work with these.  I'd expect eight or nine percent within three months.  Perhaps more."

I'd no idea what he was talking about.  I wasn't quite ready for any true Sex Reassignment Surgery but I fully expect that my cock and balls would get smaller once I started up on the girly juice.  I'd even fantasized about that.  It would be the ultimate sacrifice for my Mistress and that's what made it so powerful for me.  The two of them continued talking about my body and their doing so as if I were just a piece of meat to be manipulated actually turned me on.  Finally, they turned to making use of what was on that tray the sissy maid had brought in.

"Let's see here, yes, we'll start with the usual shot and the daily intake of pills.  First though, I'll need some bloodwork as a baseline.  The normal stuff.  From his records" (my Mistress already had me provide her my medical records) "I don't see anything which will get in the way of normal progress.  At least on the medical side."

That last bit was a odd and I took it as something of a challenge.  I'd prove to him that I was going to be the best sissy my Mistress had ever had.  I'd show them all.  I was determined.  Looking back on it, I was also a fool.  A blind and lusting fool.  My Mistress had me kneel before him and comply to him as he drew some blood for his tests.  When done, and the sample vials packed into his doctor's bag, my Mistress wrapped things up with him.

"Thank you Paul," my Mistress said, "that will do nicely then.  Slave, kneel here before me."

I quickly did so at the spot she was pointing at with her elegantly manicured hand.  She and the Dr. rose and she escorted him out of the room.  Within a minute or two she was back and soon had seated herself before me.  I could feel the power of her sexual hunger at that point.  It thrilled me to know that this whole thing was turning her on.  That meant that I could safely go ever more deeply with my fantasies and that she'd be there to support me in them.

"Slave, this is where it starts and this is how it starts.  I've done this many times before and I'll be carefully monitoring you throughout.  You've nothing to fear from this as far as any medical complications go. I am going to transform you to my desires and do so with both your body and soul.  To start with, I want you to take these two pills.  You will take pills like this every morning and take others every evening.  The Doctor and I know exactly what dosages will work to my ends with you."

She handed me a small glass of water and then placed the three little pills in my other hand.

"Look at me, slave.  Look into my eyes as you take those pills.  By doing so you are submitting to me.  By doing so you are becoming ever more mine.  By taking those pills you are starting your transformation process and will soon become exactly what I desire."  The sex-heat was burning in her voice as she said all this.  Her words were indeed hypnotic and the hunger just radiated in her eyes.  I gladly gulped down those pills as I lost myself looking into those beautiful eyes of hers.

"Good slave.  Very good.  Now for the shot.  Initially, you will receive a shot like this every other day.  At least so for the first few months.  I will adjust the dosage and the frequency as fits your progress.  Now, come here, slave, so I can get at that cute little ass of yours.  Yes, that's it, put your face right there and get busy with your tongue.  Please your mistress while she starts your transformation."  She purred at me.

I quickly shuffled forward and got my mouth right onto her pussy.  By now I knew just exactly how she liked to be licked and I found her already aroused and very wet.  This whole transformation process must've turned her on as much as it was doing so to me.  I quickly began lapping at her beautiful pussy, enjoying the scent of it and the taste of her juices.  I also reveled in the way she was using me as her sex toy even as she was transforming me into the sissy of my dreams.  The quick sting of the needle as she put it in and then the pressure as she pushed the plunger home only added to how much I was turned on.  In short order, my Mistress laid back in the chair, grabbed hold of me by the back of my head, and mashed my face into her clit.  She soon was coming from it all.  I loved that.  She used me that morning for several climaxes before pushing me away.

She then rang that servant's bell again and this time it was both of her boy toys who came in.  They helped her up from her chair as she was still well into her orgasmic bliss.  We all then went into the bedroom where my Mistress had me kneel beside the bed as she had her boy toys pleasure her for a nice and extended session.  It was apparent that my Mistress really, really liked to get fucked.  Still though, even when she was on her back and one of her boy toys was on top - my Mistress was still the one running the fuck.

She was insatiable and pretty soon she'd drawn out climaxes from both of her boy toys.  While cuddling up with one of them she had the other present himself to me so that I could "clean him" of my Mistress's juices.  I wished it was her beautiful pussy I was licking clean but, I figured that this was what I'd be expected to do as a sissy and if that pleased my Mistress then so be it.  Soon enough my Mistress had her boy toy pull his freshly cleaned - and freshly hardened cock - out of my mouth and had him come back to her in bed for more fucking.  She then had the other boy toy come to me for more of my attentions.  As this was pleasing my Mistress I kept at it and did all that I could to get this second boy toy nice and hard for her.  Soon though, she'd climaxed once again and told both boy toys to cum for her.  One deep in her pussy and the other deep in my mouth.  Neither took long to follow her commands and I was soon dealing with a mouth full of a man's cum.  The taste wasn't as bad but I really wanted her juices and I guess it showed.  Then my Mistress had me join her on her bed.

She had me lay down beside her and then she got up and straddled my face, bringing her freshly fucked pussy to my lips.  Her boy toys obviously knew what to do as they were stroking her body and nuzzling her tits as she began grinding her pussy into my open mouth.  She was very sensitive so it didn't take much licking on my part to have her once again climaxing into my open mouth.  This time I got my first creampie as my mouth was also filled with the loads of cum those two boy toys had shot into her pussy.  I felt wonderfully used at that point and was very satisfied with myself.  If this is what being one of her sissies entailed then I knew I'd made the right choice.  Oh, if only that were so!

As my Mistress retired for the evening, calling in one of her sissies to cuddle up with, she handed me off to her boy toys and left me with instructions for the evening.

"Slave, I am turning you over to 18 and 22 (no names for her slaves or her sissies, just their numbers - I was 26) and you are to follow their instructions as you would mine.  I rule them, I rule you, they rule you. Pay attention to both of them.  Make them happy and that will make me happy.  Now, off with you.  You've an early start tomorrow!"  And with that she sauntered off to her bed with one of her sissies at her side.  I was jealous of that as I wanted to be in that sissy's place.  But, I knew that in order to get there I had to obey my Mistress first.  So, I turned to her boy toys and followed them to their rooms.

The two of them bunked in one large room on one side of the hallway with the sissies bedding down in a large room on the other side.  No privacy here but privacy was not something our Mistress wanted us to have.  I was a bit taken aback at my new surroundings.  I'd hoped for something more befitting my sissy status and the Spartan décor of the boy toys' room was not it.  But, I was tired from all the play and soon just knocked off under the covers.  Morning came all too quickly as the room's alarm clock was buzzing and I was being roused out of bed by the two muscle studs.

They laughingly pushed me into the bathroom with them and started things up from there.  Remembering my Mistress's instructions, I didn't protest too much when they pushed me to my knees and had me start sucking on their cocks.  They'd both just emptied their bladders and I could still taste the piss on the ends of their dicks as they took turns stuff my mouth full with them.  Well, I guessed that this was one part of a sissy's role that wasn't as much fun as I'd hoped but I just consoled myself that I knew I'd soon move beyond just servicing these two testosterone poisoned individuals.  Neither were too cruel in their face fucking me, they just seemed to think it natural to use me in this fashion.

Soon enough they'd had their fun and they pulled me to my feet so I could shower as well.  Once done I looked around for an appropriate bit of clothing to wear but I could find none.  All of my femme things were still locked away with my bags.  The only thing available was a pair of baggy gym shorts like 18 and 22 were now putting on.  I asked if there were any panties of something similar that I could have and they just laughed, telling me to get my shorts on, pronto!  So, that I did.

They then hustled me down to the kitchen where they began working up their breakfasts.  These were big, hearty meals of egg whites, oatmeal, and oranges.  I noticed the three sissies were up and fixing their meals as well as the meal for our Mistress.  Their portions were quite a bit smaller than what the boy toys were shoveling down and what they were insisting I join them with.  Well, I thought, this'll soon change as my Mistress sets things straight.

Finishing my food, I joined the boy toys in downing my morning's pills.  I did notice that the pills they gave me were the same as the ones they themselves were downing and they were the same ones as I'd popped the previous night.  That was odd but I figured it was something else my Mistress would set straight.

After breakfast it was off to the exercise room where I joined them on a treadmill doing a warm-up bit of cardio.  I'd no problem with this as I figured that my Mistress wanted me to slim down even further in order to be a proper little sissy.  So, when the physical trainer showed up that morning I just followed along as well.

Her name was Julia and she was a sight to see.  A former competitive bodybuilder, she had an awesome physique.  She also had a no nonsense air about her and it was obvious that she was well familiar with what transpired her in my Mistress's house.  She already knew of my arrival and, once she'd set the boy toys to their workouts, began working with me to establish my routine.  At the time I thought this a bit odd as I didn't think a sissy needed muscles.  Well, I reasoned, perhaps my Mistress thinks this will help me slim down faster, so I paid heed as Julia set things out for me.

18 and 22 had to laugh at how light Julia had to set the weights for me and the two boy toys took great pleasure in belittling my weight lifting abilities.  For her part, Julia just seemed amused by all of it - me, the boy toys, the sissies, and just what my Mistress was up to with all this.  On about mid-morning my Mistress came into the exercise room as well.  By then we'd pretty much gotten done with our sets and then cleared out so that she and Julia could go through theirs.  The shower afterward felt good as it helped work my muscles out.  I figured that the two muscle studs would use me in the showers and I was right.  They were like rutting beasts.  Even after the showers they still reeked of testosterone.  Oh well, better them than me.

After the shower and getting dressed - baggy shorts, again - we joined our Mistress in her study.  She was just done with her workout and she briefly handed out the day's assignments.  It turned out 22 and 19 (one of the three sissies) was to accompany her on her business that day.  So, those two quickly went off to change into their proper attire.  The rest of us were to remain at the house and do the daily chores there.  With that, we were dismissed.  Later, I caught a glimpse of 22 coming back down in a nice business suit and of 19 in an equally as nice woman's power suit number.

I asked 18 what was going on as we both were cleaning the living room.  It turns out that our Mistress has a couple of businesses in town and she usually spends several hours a day tending to them.  She uses her boy toys as her driver and uses one of her sissies as her personal assistant.  It's good training for all concerned and it definitely keeps everyone occupied as our Mistress is usually quite busy.

That evening we all sat down together for dinner.  That too was a rotating duty sort of thing.  My Mistress insisted that each of her slaves and sissies know how to cook and present meals.  I eventually learned all those things myself but that night it was someone else's turn to do the prepping, cooking and serving.  I did get to do the dishes though!

After our meal it was time for our meditation session.  Our Mistress had us set up in the Meditation room and then came in to start things off.  All five of her submissives were there and each of us had our own headsets to listen to the CD's our Mistress cued for us.  The sissies were on one side of the room and the boy toys on the other.  Once again I was stuck on their side and not the sissies.  I knew my Mistress would soon set this right but I also knew it was not my place to complain about things so soon.

The music and meditative voice track on the CD's was quite soothing and soon enough we were all quite relaxed and entranced.  My Mistress eventually told me that this was part of the transformation process as well.  She found that using post-hypnotic suggestion techniques really helped with the whole process and these sessions were part of that.

Once we'd mostly come back to earth from the meditation session, it was once again time for our nightly pill regimen.  Once again too I was popping the same sort of pills as the boy toys.  This time I noticed the pills the sissies were downing were indeed different.  Well, I thought, perhaps this is the way all the new sissies start.  Perhaps these pills really are just vitamins and it's the shots that make the difference.

That night I was soon asleep there beside the two boy toys.  I wished I was across the hall with the sissies but I consoled myself that such a thing would come, in time.

The days quickly fell into a routine.  Pills in the morning, workouts, breakfast, duties, chores, meals, meditations, and then to bed with the boy toys.  Weekends might involve going to a club or a party and there might be going to a local kink group's workshop on the weeknights.  Duties and chores rotated and sometimes I was left home with one of the other sissies or boy toys.  And sometimes I was out with my Mistress at an event, a party or some kinky social gathering.  Soon enough I was aching for some "sissy time" but was finding it frustratingly absent.  Mistress clearly sensed this and let me know that.

"You need to learn what it is to be a true slave.  You need to learn that it is not all about your wants or your fantasies.  You need to practice selflessness.  If you truly desire to serve me then you will gladly suffer as I see fit.  And this is as I see fit." She announced to me one day when my frustration with not being the slightest bit girly was quite apparent.

"I am transforming you, slave.  I am giving you what you asked.  In my own way.  Trust me and submit to me and you will be rewarded, slave.  Demonstrate to me that you can be the selfless object for my pleasure you've promised me you are and you shall be rewarded beyond your wildest dreams." She told me holding my chin in her hand as I knelt before her on evening.  Her eyes gazed deep into my soul that night and the meditation session took me very deep that evening.

I was sore and aching from all the workouts with the boy toys for that first month.  Two weeks after I first saw him, Dr. Williams returned one afternoon.  This time my Mistress had me sucking his cock as she gave me my injections.  After being used by the two boy toys almost constantly over the past two weeks I'd gotten much better at being a cocksucker.  I kept telling myself that this was a wonderful skill for a sissy and that this was why she had placed me among those two as opposed to with the sissies across the hall.  I'd seen their cocks and they were wonderfully shrunken feminine looking things.  They seemed overjoyed with them and took their emasculated state as proof of their devotion to their Mistress.  Oh, how I ached to be like them.  It was all I could do to keep from asking my Mistress how soon these shots would make me into a sissy like they were.  But, I held my tongue.  Her words calling for my obedience were loud in my mind.  I should have known.

After that, if anything, the workouts increased.  I later figured out that it had taken some time for the steroids and the human growth hormones to really kick in and my Mistress was waiting for sign of that before she escalated her plans.  From that point on I was really too busy and too exhausted from my workouts and the chores and duties she had me at for me to ponder things.  Her boy toys became even more demanding of me as I went from shedding those extra few pounds to becoming lean like they were and then actually putting on some pounds - as muscle.  I was too busy running back and forth - as she intended – to really have time to notice all this.

I did come to realize that she somehow kept her boy toys in a near constant state of arousal.  They were always ready to go, it seemed and they could keep going for a long time at any stretch.  Any one quick climax only seemed to "take the edge off" for them and wasn't the deep sort of satisfaction they really needed.  For that, they needed repeated fuckings and repeated climaxes one after the other - like the marathon sex sessions she held with them several times a week.

It must've been something in those pills or the shots us boy toys all got.  Not that we didn't like getting our rocks off frequently, we did.  In fact, we needed to.  We really were in heat and if we didn't bust a nut every few hours it got painful.  And cumming from a quick blowjob or a quick fuck would ease that - but never really make the ache go away.  It was all part of her control and her plan.  I should've seen through that but I too was in the same rutting haze as the boy toys.

After three months or so I stopped getting my every other day shots and Dr. Williams stopped checking in on my every week.  Now it was just monthly.  I was actually missing sucking his cock and that was a bit surprising when I contemplated it.  His cum tasted different from what I got from the boy toys and I got a lot from them.  They also weren't making fun of me working out as much but were, instead, helping me push even more weights and challenging each other.  I'd seen that sort of behavior at a free weight gym I'd once been to.  The "meatheads" there seemed horribly crude to me and I wanted no part of it.  I scurried off to a gym that didn't reek of testosterone and sweat.  No true sissy would do workouts or behave like those meatheads.  If only I had been able to look outside of myself I could have seen what was happening to me.

Another thing I noticed was the sexual needs of her sissies.  It turns out that they were in about the same state of constant sexual duress as were the boy toys.  But instead of any rampant cocks and blue balls it was of an inner ache that only frequent deep fucking could ease.  It took me some months to figure that out.  Oh, I saw how frequently they got nailed by the boy toys.  I saw that all the time.  At any moment around the house when they weren't otherwise busy attending to our Mistress or doing their chores or other duties they were sashaying around in front of the boy toys and doing their best to get a rise out of them - literally.  It never took much, actually.  But the boy toys would usually come out ahead.  As good as the sissies were, the boy toys would almost always nut before the gurls could ease that ache.  But then, almost invariably, if they got one of the boy toys to bang them, the other one would get so turned on that he'd be right there when the first one had finished - if not before.  That way the sissy could get her itch scratched enough to make it worthwhile.

It wasn't until over a year after I was part of the household before one of the sissies made a point of presenting herself to me for a good hard fucking.  Up to that time they'd pretty much ignored me when it came to getting their itch scratched.  Oh, we'd play together well enough – when directed so by our Mistress.  But when it came to being fucked hard like they ached for, they turned to the boy toys and not me.  At least so for that whole first year.

I took some comfort in that.  It meant that they didn't see me as being like the boy toys.  That my sissy desires must have been obvious even to them - if not to our Mistress - and that I wanted to be them.  I wanted to be the one being so objectified and used as a sexual plaything.  I wanted to be the one in the lacy frilly outfits with the micro skirts and the high heels and the nylons and peek-a-boo panties.  I ached for that and still thought it was unfair to be stuck with the boy toys when I really should be with the other sissies.  I wanted to be in their high heels.  To be weak and helpless fawning little things at the feet of my Mistress.  That was what my fantasy was and here it was a year into my service to my Mistress and it hadn't happened yet.  She promised that she'd transform me but it was taking so long!

That afternoon my frustration got the better of me when sissy 19 began flirting with me.  Six weeks previously she'd just gone in for more surgery and emerged with a beautiful set of Double D Titties.  They looked awesome on her and I was deeply envious.  I wanted a set like that and worked hard to hide my bitterness that it wasn't me who'd just gotten the implanted boobs of my sissy fantasies.  But there she was rubbing those huge tits and pulling on her swollen nipples as she licked her lips standing right in front of me.  She'd just got done cleaning one of the upstairs bathrooms and I'd just gotten done with an extended back workout with Julia and the two boy toys.  I was pumped and sweaty and it hadn't been since before breakfast that I'd cum.  In short, this was the worst time for a sissy fucktoy to be sexually teasing me.

Faster than either of us thought would happen, I was on her.  I pushed her back into the bathroom and quickly yanked down her little shorts, turned her around and bent her over the sink.  She barely had time to put her hands up to brace herself against the wall mirror before I was ramming into her perfect hairless and smooth sissy ass.

I was angry and I was horny and I needed someone - or something – to take it all out on and 19 was it.  I wasn't worried about being too rough with her as I'd seen what the boy toys did to the gurls and they seemed to love it.  It was what got the boy toys off and it was what got the gurls off to.  I grabbed a fistful of her long blond hair and pulled her head up as I drove into her.  I wanted her to watch me pound her senseless for having teased me like that.  My other hand clenched hard around her corseted waist as I rammed my thick hard pumped cock into her ass.  Yes, pumped.  The boy toys told me one day that my cock wasn't big enough.  Stupidly, I got mad at that instead of taking it as a compliment like a sissy would have.  A sissy's clitty should never be big and hard but rather small and soft and delicate just like the rest of the sissy is.  Not like the monsters the two boy toys had swinging between their huge quads and glutes.  So, to "help me," they brought out this pumping kit.  They told me they used to use it on themselves but no longer had the need.  That angered me even more.  I'd show them, I told myself, and set to pumping up my cock to make it even bigger than theirs.  I was pissed.  I was angry.  I was challenged and I wasn't going to back down.  And I was stupid.  In just a couple of months I'd pumped up my cock so that it was even bigger than theirs.  Not by much but in combination with the drugs our Mistress had me on, it was getting even bigger.

I barely took the time to line my newly massive tool up with her puckering rosebud before I'd slammed it in.  This was the first time I'd fucked anyone with my cock since starting to pump it.  The pecking order with the boy toys meant I was always the one getting fucked.  I really came to like that and thought it proper for a sissy like me to always be on the bottom.  The few times I'd actually fucked anyone in the household was when Mistress had us out playing together and ordered me to.  Doing so I'd found that the sissies had both been so well fucked out by the time I got to them that there was little stimulation for me.  I still came but, it was more from the fantasizing that I was in the place of the sissy and not from anything her loosened ass was providing me with.

So, when I rammed my much bigger cock into 19 I was surprised - pleasantly surprised - to feel how much tighter it was.  Even with the lube - like all the sissies in our Mistresses household, her ass pussy was clean and lubed at all times - it was much tighter a fit and the sensations were awesome.  God, did my cock feel good as that little sissy tart wailed about how big I was and hard I was and how I was really filling her up and how much more of me she wanted.  She was losing herself to my hard and totally dominating fucking of her.  I was angry about that too.  I wanted to be like that.  It should be me – the sissy of my dreams - getting bent over by a boy toy and fucked like I was fucking her.  Or better, my Mistress should be plowing me – the helpless sissy of my dreams - with her biggest strapon!  Oh yes, that would so hot!

I looked up into the mirror and away from her eyes as they rolled back into her head and she began to spasm having her first deep sissygasm from my fucking her.  I looked up and saw that fantasy come to life.  A big titted limp dicked perfumed and pretty sissy getting her brains fucked out by some huge muscle stud using her like the fucktoy she was.  I watched that and ground my cock into her even harder as that image rolled through my mind.

Yeah, this was it!  Here I was in the midst of living my fantasy!  Only I was in the wrong place.  That's when it hit me.  Just as my climax rolled through me and my balls pulled up and I began pumping that sissy's ass with my load of thick, heavy cum I realized what had happened.  I was in the wrong place.  This was wrong.  This wasn't the way it should be.  I had been lied to.  I had been deceived.  I had been a fool.

Oh, I had been transformed alright.  Almost completely transformed.  That moment of clarity hit me like a brick almost as fast as my nuts emptied into the sissy bent over under me.  That near constant haze of lust that was part of my daily life for that year had lifted for a moment thanks to how deeply I'd just cum inside her.  A deep climax like that hadn't happened even with my Mistress during that entire time.  She kept telling me I wasn't ready to be one of her bedmates when she called the boy toys in.  I thought that meant she was waiting for me to become sissified enough to join her with the other gurls.  What a fool.  It actually meant I hadn't bulked up enough or hardened up enough yet for her tastes in boy toys.  And for all these months I hadn't got to that level for the sissies either.  Until that day, that is.

I stopped, with my cock still buried deep in her ass and totally ignoring her moans and begging me to keep pounding.  I stopped and I looked at myself.  Clearly now for the first time in months without being lost in that constant horniness ache and I looked at what I'd become.  Oh yes, my Mistress had transformed me alright.  Almost completely.  Gone was the stylishly thin and androgynous man I was when we first met - when I first knelt before her and told her all the wonderful things she could do with me.  No, that creature was entirely wiped out.

Instead, what gazed back at me from that bathroom wall mirror was a huge muscle bound fuck stud.  Nothing androgynous about me now.  All those months of pounding all those free weights.  The hours spent in the gym. All that cardio.  All those shots, all those pills.  I was huge.  I pulled up my sweat soaked tank top and saw my abs rippling underneath.  I was a hardbody.  I thought back to the back workout I'd just done with the boy toys and realized that I'd become exactly like they were in the gym - a meathead.  Shouting and yelling at each other to push each other harder as we lifted ever more weights.  I challenged them to do more reps, to go heavier and they challenged me to do the same.  I was almost as big and as hard and as ripped as they were.  That I wasn't was something I knew was only a matter of time before I caught up to them - and then beat them at.  My arms were huge - at least triple what I started with - and the veins popped out as I flexed in the mirror.  The sissy still grinding on my cock moaned at my apparently giving her a show and begged me to keep it up while I fucked her some more.

Instead, I stumbled back and my cock came out of her with a squishy "pop" sound leaving a trail of cum and lube on the freshly cleaned floor.  In flash she'd turned around and got her mouth on it.  Whether to get some more cum out of me or keep from making more of a mess on the floor she'd just cleaned, I didn't know.  And I didn't care.

I sat down on the toilet and put my head in my hands, completely ignoring the sissy who wanted to sit in my lap and ride my cock some more.  I couldn't believe it.  I must've added fifty pounds of muscle in just these past months.  Whatever juice my Mistress had me on was amazing.  And terrifying.  This wasn't what I wanted.  This wasn't what I wanted.  I wanted to be a sissy - not some freakishly muscled fuck stud boy toy.

And that's when it finally came together.  I now was a boy toy.  I was a super muscled, wholly masculine, testosterone reeking, endlessly rutting, hard cocked, beefy male boy toy.  There was nothing sissy about me anymore.  I had been entirely transformed.  It would take me years - if ever - to get even close to what I was like before I'd met her.  I looked up into the mirror and at my face looking back at me in it.  My face was heavier.  My jawline thicker.  My brow was stronger.  Fuck, I looked like a damn hyper masculine / "Tom of Finland" stereotype!

Those hormones!  That must've been it!  There must've been human growth hormone in it.  I knew from my reading on transgender hormone replacement therapy what each type did.  Oh, I was well versed on all that - like a good sissy should be.  I knew exactly what girlie juice hormones my Mistress should force me to take to become the perfect sissy of my dreams.  And HGH (Human Growth Hormone) was absolutely not the one I never wanted to take.  Being on that too long and everything about you got bigger and more masculine.  Your cock got bigger, your balls got bigger, your hands got bigger, your feet got bigger, and your face did too.  I felt my face with my fingers and realized that was bone underneath what had grown behind my eyebrows.  Looking down I saw that, even deflating from having shot its wad, my cock was also bigger.  Thicker and heavier and no doubt a bit longer - completely at odds with being a sissy.

Even if I stopped all the drugs she had been pickling me with and went completely the other way, I could never reverse all this.  Never.  Oh, I could get thin again - it'd take years to get back to what I weighed just a year prior.  I could get surgeries to do some things.  But my hands and feet were impossible to shrink now as that was all bones there that had gotten bigger, not fleshy bits that could so readily be scrapped or simply cut away.  I was stuck.  There was no way I could ever be a sissy now.  Not the sissy of my dreams and fantasies any more.

I looked at the muscle in the mirror and said; "Why me?  What did I do to deserve this?"  And then I realized that even my voice had changed.  Now that my mind was clearer I heard myself plain for the first time in months.  Gone was that light and soft voice I worked so hard getting to. It was a deep base now, entirely a man's and not a sissy's in any way.  That too was transformed.  I put my head back in to my hands and wept. I noted the stubble on my face and realized that too was different.  I'd never had to shave much before coming to this household but, I realized, I was shaving at least once a day on my face and my body at least once a week now.  I bet that if I stopped that I'd wind up looking like some fur covered brute in no time.

I truly wept.  All my wants and desires were now crushed.  I had been transformed alright.  And deceived at the same time.

I don't know how long I was there crying into my hands.  I know the sissy got bored at not being fucked and had left at some point and I vaguely remembered one of the boy toys coming in and helping me out of the bathroom and in to the meditation room.  And then he left at some point after that.  I eventually cried myself out as I lay there curled up tight in a ball.

Eventually, I sat back up and noticed some movement out of the corner of my eye.  I turned to it and caught sight of one of the boy toy's just stepping out of the room.  A moment or two later he came back in with the other one and with her - with my Mistress.

I just sat there looking at her and she at me for some minutes.  I was at a loss as to what to say and where to start.  Eventually, the words came.

"You lied to me.  You deceived me.  You promised to transform me to make me your sissy.  You..." I moaned.

"No.  I promised you nothing of the kind." She replied harshly.  "Listen to yourself.  Do you ever do that?  I doubt it.  Did you hear what you just said to me?  Really hear it?  It's all still all about you.  You. You.  You.  What you want done to you.  What transformations you want done to you.  How you want me to make you a sissy.  You.  You!  YOU!"

"You promised..." I began.

"No I did not!  I didn't promise you anything.  Do you remember what I actually said to you?  No?  Oh don't worry there mister, I do.  Clearly.  I don't even need to replay the recordings I made of it to remember it.  And I did record it.  I didn't promise you anything.  What I told you, you self-centered arrogant little man was that I expected something from you first.  I wanted you to show me that you were capable of that.  That you could give before you received.  That you understood what true sacrifice was.  That you understood what it is to serve someone else before you got anything from me in return.  That you could be selfless.  Still not getting through, is it?  Pitiful."  She spat in disgust and then nodded to one of the boy toys.

He pressed something on the screen of his smartphone and I heard the speakers in the room come on with the recording of that first time I started as one of her slaves and not just an occasional playmate.  She had the particular sequence cued up and I recoiled when I heard it again.

"I want something that is a true sacrifice for you and something which will demonstrate your commitment to me before I commit myself to you." Came her voice from the speakers.

She wasted no time in driving the point home.  Harshly, cruelly and without remorse.  "Is that clear enough for you?  You know nothing of service.  You know nothing of selflessness.  Nothing.  Look around you mister.  These men?  My gurls?  They get it.  They get it cold.  They understand.  They have given themselves to me without hesitation or expectation.  They are selfless in their devotion and servitude to me.  They understand what a gift that is to me.  And I reward them for that gift."

"You?"  She continued cruelly, "You are too wrapped up in yourself to give anything to anyone.  It's all about you and your fantasies and your wants.  So, I decided to teach you a lesson.  I'm tired - damn, tired - of men like you throwing themselves at me."

"Oh Mistress make me your sissy please!" she mocked in a whiny voice.

"I wanted to see if you would 'get it' at some point.  If you could pull your head out of your ass and understand what it is, exactly, that you were expecting and why you were so wrong about it all.  Instead you just kept demonstrating how much of a self-centered jerk you actually are. And I'm the wrong woman to do that with.  You never recognized that and that - above all else, I guess, is what really pissed me off.  I'm a sadist but not the type you figured.  Oh, I like making people hurt and I love bending them such that they beg me for it.  But what I like the most - what turns me on like nothing else - is getting inside someone else head and playing there.  With my slaves," she gestured to her boy toys and to the sissies hovering at the door, "I have too much respect to hurt them up there.  You, I have nothing but contempt for.  You sought to use me and that's something I will not tolerate."

"So, I decided to teach you a lesson," she continued., "A lesson about selflessness and sacrifice.  A harsh lesson.  But one that's going to stick all the better because of it.  From now on, every time you see yourself in the mirror you're going to know what fool you've been.  What an ass you've been.  How your dreams were within your reach but you simply couldn't bring yourself to touch them.  You could have been just like my gurls.  Just like them.  Instead, I made sure you'll never be like them.  Never.  Ever."

"You're too big now," she continued mercilessly. "You're too muscled. You're bones are too big.  You cock's too big.  You're too much like my men here to ever be like a sissy.  Ever."

"Oh, you may get lucky," she continued heartlessly. "And find some domme out there who gets off on dressing up her musclebound man in panties and doing the whole humiliation thing.  There are bitches like that out there.  And that, sweet cheeks, is as close as you're ever going to get to being a sissy.  Even if you never lift another weight again and cut off those supercharged balls you've got now, you'll forever be too big and 'too manly' to ever pass.  You'll be a brick in a bra."

"No!  NO!" I wailed.  "No!  Please!  Please!  I'll change!  Please Mistress!  Please!"

"I'm done with you." She coldly replied and walked out of the room.  I moved to reach her - to throw myself at her feet and beg to stay.  But the boy toys caught me before I got two steps and I felt a jab in my arm and that was it.

I awoke in a hotel room.  My clothes - all my wonderfully femme dresses and outfits and gowns and lingerie and shoes, all of my dreamy sissy attire - was there in their suitcases in the room with me.  Totally useless to me as I could no longer fit into any of it.  When I cleared my head enough to sit up, I noticed an envelope on the nightstand next to me.  It had my name on it in her writing.  I quickly tore it open in hopes that this was just some test she'd put me through.  My heart sank as I began reading her words.

"I am done with you.  There is nothing you can say or do to change things between us.  You have no further place in my household or my life.  Do not attempt to test that.  You are now in a hotel room in San Diego.  The room is paid through the next two days.  Your credit cards which you turned over to me are in your wallet on the dresser.  You are not destitute but you are now on your own.  Hopefully, you will have learned something from your time in my household.  Learned the need for selflessness.  If not, then this entire year has been a waste of time for both of us."

My tears spattered on the page.  I fell back into the bed and let them flow until I was wept out.  I was a fool.  I had been deceived – by myself.